I hate seeing people struggle. I hate watching them get down. I feel useless and every bone in my body wants to make things better.

So often we get angry because we feel that God has let us down—that He has given up on us. He hasn’t. But so often we don’t understand that. I don’t understand that.

My friend is in that place right now. She feels that God has put her in a shitty position in life even though she has served in church and given up all for Him. I’ve been done with my church for a while now. My church, ha. I want to shove every body at that church down the stairs. I’ve been going to a new church for a while and I’m so done going to my school because of those in leadership.

I want to fix things. I wish things were the way they used to be. My dad had a $80,000/yr job. We had a beautiful house and an easy life. We gave up everything.

I need to move on. She needs to move on. I know God doesn’t give up on us but I’ve given up on Him. I hope that I can. I need a fresh start.